THE OLD SOOTHSAYER

            Some group of engineers were working on a building site near a village. An old man from the village usually pauses once in a while to say hello on his way to his farm. On the first day that he came, he greeted them all and looks at the sky and said: "it's going to rain very soon". They were all surprised as there was no cloud formation depicting rainfall.  So they ignored his comment and continued with their work. A few while after, there was a heavy downpour that washed away all that day's work. The foreman at the site was so devastated about the development.

The next day, the old man came and repeated what he said yesterday and it poured heavily again. The third day, the foreman was the one that asked the old man as he was passing if it's going to rain. His answer was no and there was no rain. They were as well surprised and puzzled, so the foreman decided to employ the old man as a rain maker and soothsayer.

Whenever the old man tells them it's going to rain, no work will be carried out that day but if otherwise, there will be normal operation. This has been on for about two weeks until one day that the old man came and he was asked if it's going to rain but he said he doesn't know. He was asked why and he said: There was no light yester night so I couldn't watch the weather forecast on TV!

Lol…

cHeErS!

A FUNNY NIGERIAN MAN (AN IBO MAN).

An Ibo man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.
He tells the loan officer that he is going to Nigeria on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Ibo man hands over the keys and documents of new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Ibo
for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's
underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Ibo man returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest,
which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely,
but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow "$5,000”?

The Ibo man replies:

"Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41
and expect it to be there when I return'"

I g b o K w e n u!

Cheers!

WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH A WOMAN...?

ASSUME THAT I AM A WOMAN AND YOU GOT THIS EMAIL FROM ME TO YOU:

IF YOU HAD ME ALONE... LOCKED UP IN YOUR ROOM FOR TWENTY-FOUR HOURS & I HAD TO DO WHAT EVER YOU WANTED ME TO DO, WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH ME? TELL ME IN MY INBOX ... COS IT’S A SECRET... THEN SEND THIS TO ALL YOUR CONTACTS... YOU MIGHT BE SURPRISED WITH THE RESPONSES YOU GET. THEY COULD MAKE YOU LAUGH OR EVEN SMILE...LOL

 CHEERS!

SEX WITH MONEY

Johnny wanted to have sex wit a girl in his office, but she is for someone else. One day, Johnny said to her, “I'll give you a $100 if you let me screw you”. But she said NO. Johnny said: “I'll be fast. I'll throw d money on d floor, u bend down, and I'll be finished by the time u pick it up. She thought for a moment and said she would have to consult her boyfriend. So she called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend says: “Ask him for $200, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down”. So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened. She responded: “The bastard used coins!”

CHEERS!